Thursday, 30 July 2009


I have solved the mystery of why boaters go faster in the rain. They are all sexual deviants. There I was looking out of my side hatch one afternoon last week as a boat went by and there framed in the hatchway was the answer.

Q: When you have an umbrella in one hand and a cuppa in the other where do you put the tiller?

A: Up ya bum!
I have no personal knowledge of this you understand, but what effect this has but with both hands full and a 2" vibrating pole stuck up your norty regions, one can imagine the steerer doesn't give a s**t how fast he is going.

So there we have it, mystery solved.

If you speed past a moored boater on the lower Oxford and he yells, "Up ya bum!", he is not offering you a date rather telling you that you are going a bit fast.

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