Friday, 26 August 2011

Guidelines

I made a comment on a newspaper site. Before I could post it I was asked to ’Please adhere to our Community guidelines’ . There were thirty pages. After I took out the 11 pages of credits at the bottom I was left with nineteen A4 pages to read, which of course I didn’t. Is one really expected to read all this junk?

There are more words on the first page than in the American Declaration of Independence which spawned a whole nation. Why do these newspaper moguls feel the need to cross all the ‘i’s and dot all the ‘t’s.

This set of guidelines includes a ‘swear words’ list a ‘words with dual meaning’ list and a minorities word list.

You can say testicle, in context of course, but you cant say b*****k(s)

You can say vagina, but you cant say c**t. Personally I have never used this word as a noun, but hey what do I know.

You cant say twat because it is another word for vagina. Oh really!

You cant say c**n but you can say ‘coon. The former is an archaic americanism for slave while the latter is a shortening of racoon, but heaven forbid if you forget the apostrophe.

Whilst you cannot say ‘he p*ss*d in the road’, you can say ‘he is as pissed as a fart’.

You cannot use any slang word for ejaculated semen such as J*sm or J*zm though you can say masturbate but not w**k or t**s

I know a few of the Jewish faith but according to the paper I cannot call them y*ds they are Yiddish, they however are allowed to call me a Brit even though I am not Br*t*sh

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