Monday, 27 July 2015

On Getting Wet

Dear boater people, I don’t mind if you travel in the rain, I do it myself. After the first hour you will be as wet as you are going to be for the rest of the day. Going fast will not stop you from getting wet. In fact if you go fast you will get wetter than if you just puttered along gently.

By all means go boating, but please don’t use the rain as an excuse to speed along paying scant regard for the safety of people who are obviously your intellectual betters. I say obviously because they are moored up and dry, you on the other hand are dripping wet and probably cold.

When it is pissing down with rain the ground, they ‘secured’ their pins into, becomes softer and pins can then be easily pulled out by morons such as yourself who are speeding along thinking ‘well its not my fault their pins pulled out they should have moored up better’. Yet you always complain when the positions are reversed.

You must at all times pay due respect for the canal, the wild life, and lastly other canal users. If you bothered to read the ‘Boaters Handbook’ you would know the rules. The rules are written for a reason. The Landlubbers all drive on the left of their roads. On the odd occasion that one of them drives on the right chaos ensues. There is no point every one deciding to do their own thing.  Yes the waterways are to some extent freedom, but in everything there must be rules. We apply rules because “common sense is a flower that does not grow in everyone’s garden.’'” As with most things in life it is better if we all sing from the same music sheet.

By all means boat in the rain, but remember the rules still apply. If you find you cannot follow the rules and need to travel faster than the rules proscribe then please feel free to sell your boat and buy a camper van. You will be happy, we will be happy, and the God of happiness will be happy. Happier, in fact, than a Happy thing on Happy day in Happiville. Go on, you know it makes sense!

If, however, you want to stay on the water and join the happy band of people who try to obey the rules then please SLOW DOWN.

2 comments:

Eddie said...

please feel free to sell your boat and buy a camper van.


No as a boater for Leisure but a truck driver by trade please don't encourage arsehole's that move their boats to fast to move to the roads as they arre the arsehole's that travel at 80 kph which is 10 kph slower than 44T trucks which normally travel in the slow lane (near side or left) on a motorway.
please if 56 MPH is to fast stay off the motorways and if 4MPH is to slow stay off the canals

Malcolm said...

Schoolboy error!
Firstly, you are assuming that these idiots can read.
Secondly, if they can read they understand the rules.
Thirdly, if they understand the rules they're intelligent enough to comply.
Ah, that'll be three schoolboy errors :)