Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Here come the Crocus


I felt the need to share

Apparently Americans go Shopping like this, WHY!!!

image33OK bud that comb-over isn’t fooling any one.

image1Hey lady ya momma said showing a ‘little’ cleavage is sexy.

image5Have you been wearing that since you wus ten?

image9Hookers have to shop!


Hey Co-Co I wondered where you had got to

image14Each to his own

image16Lady I am sure you are a very nice person, but Hot Buns you ain’t got.

image18An aging Batman takes a vacation.

image19Does your wife know you are wearing them?

image20Aw c’mon wear ya kids wardrobe when she is older and more like your size.

image23And at what point in getting dressed this morning did you think “Damn I’m looking hot in this outfit.”



Mum is that a good example to be setting your child.image28


Have a nice day Sir?





Ma’am ya puppies are getting away




Please tell me you have ya underwear in there lady

image37Sir to wear this style properly ya should hitch up ya underwear. Y’all aint got none? Shit!


You is kiddin’ me right?




Somewhere there has got to be a Sylvester puddy tat!



No not the month of October but the wooden cruiser October owned by Edward Surrige.DSCF2624Unfortunately October has now sunk at the Sheepwash end of the Mill Stream. Edward has made a valiant effort to keep this boat afloat in the last year or so. It has been continually been taking on water as long  as I have known the boat and one would have thought  the battle was lost, but no, when I spoke to Edward yesterday he said, “Its not over yet.”


Friday, 27 January 2012

Where is the Justice?

This world is F***ed up. I know this chap should be locked up because he looks guilty of being just ugly.


This chap’s crime is far more heinous and yet he only gets 20 years.


I kind of wanted to say only in America, but  unfortunately this could have almost as easily happened here.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Trust BW

Ruth Ruderham was appointed last year to the role of fund raising manager, by British Waterways for the new CRT. She will be on an salary of £70,300 pa. So before the CRT is even a legally constituted charity it is already £70k+ in the red. I get the idea she will be swimming through treacle. She had better be good.

As of yet BW have not released the salary details of Daniel Charles the Individual Giving Manager (yeah I asked that).

How much hard work are these two going to have to do just to stand still?

Wednesday, 25 January 2012


So I click on the tweet button and Twitter says:-

Sorry! we did something wrong. Try sending your tweet again in a minute.

So in a minute I click on it again and Twitter says:-

Oops! you have tweeted that already.

This is a simple bug that they should be able to fix.

Today . . .

. . . I found Snowdrops.



David Cameron (that posh nob from Eton) said a couple of weeks ago that they are planning to provide free, yes FREE, Wi-Fi for the whole of London.

I thought, “Well that’s nice. Give all those in London for free what we in the sticks pay for but can’t get. That is certainly the way to divide a nation.”

This is a man of great vision.

He looks a lot, but sees bugger all.


Escaped Prisoner, if you know the location of John Anslow
please call the dedicated incident room


Do not approach him this man is DANGEROUS!

Tuesday, 24 January 2012


Mark Davies is an author and he writes about the local history of Oxford. He has written a number of books about and around Oxford. Mark lives on a narrowboat near Isis Lock which is where the canal meets the Thames, so it is no surprise that, a couple of years ago, he published a book about the Thames, more specifically how the Thames and Alice Liddle are inextricably linked in the annuls of literary history.

Book-Cover4Alice Liddle was the inspiration for Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. This book follows the Thames from Godstow on the northern reaches of the city to Nuneham down Abingdon way. This is some considerable distance to cover in a rowing skiff as Carroll did. Godstow was ‘the birthplace of all Alice’s adventures’. The book then follows the route of the river past Binsey, the site of the ‘Treacle Well’ under Folly Bridge, near by is the ‘Wool and Water’ shop which still exists today at 85 St Aldates as the Alice Shop. It drifts lazily along the Christ Meadow stretch. On the flow to Iffley where a prince was unceremoniously blacked in the eye by Alice, and then onward to Sanford the ‘Pool of Tears finishing up at Nuneham ‘a material Fairy land’.

The book, which is written as a diary, is full of historical reference, maps, copies of the original illustrations, photographs of people who became characters and talks about all the places as they appear in the original book.

This is a lovely insight into the history behind one of the most famous childrens books ever written. Well worth reading even if you are not an Alice fan.

In Oxford you can buy it at many of the local bookshops. It can be purchased directly from Mark by Isis Lock (if he is home there is a poster of the book on a board by his post box) or you can get it online ISBN 078-1-904955-72-6.

It is published by
Signal Books
in association with
Oxford Towpath Press.


Mum, I shouldnt have to sit in this titchy basket while the Wonder Dog sits on a chair. Its just not fair!!! I don’t fit.




Monday, 23 January 2012

The number you are calling . . . .

I don’t know about all you guys but all my phone numbers are saved onto the phone so when I want to call someone I look for their name on the list and press call. Now that is simple. Eazy Peazy. So why is it than when the phone I am calling goes to voice mail does the ‘voice’ tell me what number it is that I am calling. I don’t know if its right and I don’t really care. It was right the last time I called and I haven’t changed anything, but still they persist. When will they realise that no one cares, it doesn’t matter. They never say anything useful such as “your mum is pissed with you and isn’t answering her phone” or “the drunk you were out with last night doesn’t want to talk.” or “that chick you were getting giggy with? she doesn’t want to know,” you know what I am saying, something that you need to know. No they just trot out the number that your phone gave them and they do it with that superior air that makes you want to punch them. Bloody bastards!

NME honours 'genius' Noel Gallagher

Noel Gallagher is to be honoured with the "Godlike Genius" title at this year's NME Awards for his contribution to music.

He said,
"I accept that I am now a genius, just like God."

Well that’s good, not only is he a total arse he thinks he’s a deity. He will be insufferable! Oh! no changes there then.

Where in Oxford . . .

. . . would you find a water wheel?DSCF2821

map ww

Dog Fouling

This is a cut ‘n’ paste from the  Keep Britain Tidy site.  The problem

Dog fouling is a major issue for many of our towns and cities. It is the most offensive type of litter on our streets and it is consistently raised as a public concern.

What is dog fouling?

In 2010 the UK dog population was estimated to be 8 million, with dogs producing approximately 1,000 tonnes of excrement each day. In a recent survey of over 10,000 sites dog fouling was present on 7% of these sites. Some dog owners still fail to clean up after their dogs and the highest level of dog fouling can be found in areas where people actually live.

Why is dog fouling a problem?

Although Keep Britain Tidy has recorded a reduction in overall levels of dog fouling since 2001/02, it is still a significant cause of offence amongst the public.

Dog fouling is not only unpleasant it is dangerous. The biggest threat to public health from dog excrement is toxocariasis.

What is Toxocariasis?

Toxocariasis is an infection of the roundworm toxocara canis. The eggs of the parasite can be found in soil or sand contaminated with faeces and if swallowed, result in infection that lasts between six and 24 months. Symptoms include eye disorders, vague ache, dizziness, nausea, asthma and epileptic fits. Often the eggs are ingested when passed to the mouth by the hands, but this can also occur through contact with dogs or other inanimate objects including the wheels of toys and the soles of shoes. Infected soil samples are often found in play areas and as a result, Toxocariasis most commonly affects children between 18 months and five years.

Whose responsibility is it to clear away dog fouling?

It is the the responsibility of the dog owner or the person in charge of the dog to clear up any dog foul left by their dog. If you fail to clean up after your dog you can be issued with a Fixed Penalty Notice, or if the case goes to court a fine of up to £1000.
The regulations state specifically, that being unaware that the dog has fouled, or not having a suitable means of removing the faeces is not a reasonable excuse for failing to clean up after your dog.
If someone fails to clean up after their dog, the council will clear dog fouling from public places that it has a legal responsibility for. Over 90% of councils have dog wardens and over 80% of councils provide dedicated dog waste bins.

What can I do about dog fouling?

Many people find dog fouling offensive and want to do something about it. If you feel strongly that dog fouling should not be tolerated on our streets why not sign up as a Keep Britain Tidy supporter and show that you are committed to tackling the issue of dog fouling. We will keep you updated on everything we are doing to put an end to dog mess on our streets and let you know about all other relevant work. We also have some posters that you can put up locally. View and order your free posters.
If you are with someone you know and they allow their dog to foul you may feel safe telling them that they shouldn’t. However, if you do not know the person it is important not to confront them if you think that your personal safety might be at risk. Dog wardens are empowered and trained to deal with offenders.

If you have information about a dog fouling you could report it to the police, the local council or a dog warden, but it is up to them to decide whether they wished to proceed any further. Whilst it is possible to take a private prosecution, it would be at a person’s own expense and you will need strong evidence to prove your case in court.

For more information about dog fouling view our Knowledge Bank

I hope that’s clear. It is dangerous, there are no excuses for not clearing up and if they don’t want to clear it up take their picture pass it on to the council. Remember to hammer home the £1000 fine.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Henry Winkler

fonzieI just love Henry Winkler. I’m sure we all do. Many of us will remember him as the Fonz in Happy Days. Henry was part of that feel good factor TV show that everyone tuned into in the seventies.

henry-winkler-at-a-ceremony-where-he-was-presented-with-his-honorary-obe-pic-pa-285346746He was awarded the OBE last year for his work with Dyslexic children in this country. Henry works with Dyslexic children for one simple reason Henry himself is dyslexic and he wants to make a difference. You can imagine the trouble he had reading scripts. Now I never knew this. I don’t have TV and  I don’t often read newspapers and even then I skip read, which is how come I didn’t know ‘why’ he got an OBE.

So when I picked him up on his spelling, on twitter, last year he had every right to be angry. Did he get angry? No he simply replied ‘This is true I cannot spell.’ And still I did not understand. Well I am, after all, a bit of a twat as you will all know.

The last thing I would want to do, would be to make fun of anyone who is dyslexic. My daughter Kim is dyslexic. She wasn’t diagnosed until she went to University (she got a 2.1).

I am very fortunate, my father taught me to read before I went to school. I could read everything, didn’t understand it all, but hey, I was 4. I have no knowledge of a time when I couldn’t read. The problem I had was no one would believe I could read which in my case was somewhat debilitating. I remember one teacher being amazed that not only could I read but I could read upside down, I was eight. During those periods when we all read out in class, I was always several pages in front of the other kids. When it came to my turn I had to find where we were in the book. It appeared I wasn’t paying attention or I was struggling to read, I found this so frustrating. Whilst I could liken it to the problems that other kids had being unable to read, for me it was going to get better. Eventually, as I grew older no one would question my reading ability. From starting High School it was just accepted that I could read. The trouble being of course that before that ever happened I had lost the will to learn and would never regain the enthusiasm I once had. 

If you have dyslexia it must be so frustrating to be out of the loop. Teachers teach. Pupils learn. As pupils learn the teachers progress on to more difficult topics and the pupils learn more. Imagine how difficult it must be to learn if when you open a book all the words on the page jumble up or appear to slide off the edge. If particular words become fuzzy, or morph into something else, blocks of colours for instance, how would we read a book?

Talented people can help. Henry Winkler is talented. He writes books for dyslexic children. He goes into schools, both in the US and here and he helps dyslexic children to understand that they matter and this is the first step towards their understanding of the written world they live in.

There was a chap in our class at school who had a cleft palette, Barry. We kids didn’t know that this wasn’t related to his inability to read, (he had the worst repair job I have ever seen in my now 61 years).

People with dyslexia are their own worst enemy simply because they are so good at hiding their problem. I only knew two people with dyslexia when I was at school, Barry was one and my brother was the other. Of course we didn’t know of DYSLEXIA just that some people “were stupid” and could not read. Kids can be evil.

Henry Winkler over came his problem, mainly by hiding his problem but also by being extremely funny and I think it is very brave for him to say on his twitter profile:-

Actor, director, producer and author. AND I'm in the bottom 3% academically in America.

He may be in the bottom 3% academically but he is in the top 3% good guys.

Please, google Dyslexia. Find out about it, understand. then maybe you wont make an ass of yourself as I did.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Is there a God?

Another internet story. I don’t know if there is any truth to it (probably not) but I like the sentiment.

A college professor, an avowed atheist and active in the ACLU, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that for once and for all he was going to prove there was no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted:
"GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by. "I'm waiting God, if you're real, knock me off this platform!" Again after a few more minutes, the professor taunted God saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!"
His count down got down to the last couple of minutes when a NAVY SEAL, just released from the Navy after serving in Afghanistan and Iraq and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor. The SEAL hit him full force in the face, and sent the Professor tumbling from his lofty platform. The Professor was out cold.
The students were stunned and shocked. They began to babble in confusion. The SEAL nonchalantly took his seat in the front row and sat silent. The class looked at him and fell silent ..... waiting.
Eventually, the professor came to and was noticeably shaken. He looked at the SEAL in the front row. When the professor regained his senses and could speak he asked: "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
"God was really busy protecting America's soldiers, who are protecting your right to say stupid things and act like an idiot. So He sent me."

Breaking News

Administrative errors by the organising team of the Queens Jubilee Flotilla have resulted in the canals top bloggers being left off the list. None of the top waterways bloggers have been included in the royal line up, not even me!. Neither Sue nb No problem nor Andrew Denny nb Granny Buttons or even yours truly on the Milly M will be taking part in the biggest flotilla for several hundred years. Such an oversight is inexcusable.

Sue was well put out and Granny too. Fortunately for nb Epiphany they will be on the Lancaster Canal so are not too offended. I on the other hand as the resident Mr Goody-two-shoes thought I would be included just to keep me sweet. Don’t these people understand social politics.

Well that’s me done, I am not turning up to her birthday bash this year, Liz will have to do without me. No sorry Your Maj you can send as many invitations as you like, One has to make a stand.

Smile with tongue out

Freight on the canals

Yet another newspaper article advocating the bringing back freight onto the canals. I have to wonder if these people have the slightest idea what state the canals are in? Have they asked how commercial traffic and ‘pleasure’ traffic will interact. What would happen when a motor and butty turn up at Dashwood’s Lock behind a queue of private and hire boats on a Friday afternoon. Private boaters kicking their heels while yard staff are showing newbie hirers through the lock. I have followed so called working boats through lock flights and often they don’t close gates when leaving a lock. Hire boaters wouldn’t be troubled by this but many Private boaters would.

Will commercial boats be required to keep to the set conventions of speed rules or will they take it that they are ‘working boats’ and the rules don’t apply to them? After all they will be on the clock.

How is it ever going to be cost effective to move freight by boat. We all love boating and would pay to take a boat out, but if you were doing it 5 days a week you would need to be paid, I can’t see anyone doing it for less than £50 a day that’s £250 a week. Why pay a boater £250 to take a load from Oxford to Rugby, for instance. when a truck driver can do it for 30 quid  (two hours driving). If, as the article suggests, bio fuels are too be transported to power stations the extra cost will be loaded on to consumer bills. Fortunately power stations are on big waterways

Are working boaters going to be happy to moor up in the sticks in preference to mooring on a honey pot visitors mooring outside a pub, I doubt it.

The big river/canals like the Aire & Calder are still taking freight, but they are big waterways and carry 650 ton boats. They were built for this. The Manchester ship canal the same, bigger water, bigger boats.

Mind you as a starting point I suppose they could strip a lot of trees off the canals that are most likely to fall, but the narrow canals would need the bottom dropped a couple of feet to accommodate proper working boats not to mention the water supply needs some serious attention

I am sure the CBOA would love to see working boats on the water again, but is it really going to happen? I very much doubt it, but hey never say never as they say. I would take a cargo boat out.

And finally the post has gone




Thursday, 19 January 2012


The Arab Spring is now ten months into its new life, and yet Syria’s leader, Bashar al-Assad, is still in power in a country that doesn’t want him. The Arab League has failed to sort out this problem. It maybe time for intervention. Not intervention by the West but by Arab troops. 6,000 Syrians have died since the trouble started and it is for the Arab nations, together, to bring this problem to an end.

Corrupt Morons

Another little peice I found on the net amusing but sad.

This should be read and understood by all Americans Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,

It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:

1. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.

2. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.

3. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.

4. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more.

5. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.


This is interesting the punch line is thought provoking.

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart every hour of every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private employer, and most speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this
in only fifteen years.
8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers;
this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.
11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores.
(Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)
12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.

“You may think that I am complaining,” says the writer, but he is really laying the ground work for suggesting that, “MAYBE the Americans should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the ailing American economy.”

Wednesday, 18 January 2012


Judges send Qatada back to jail
BBC Tuesday, 2 December 2008
A radical preacher, who has been dubbed Osama Bin Laden's right-hand man in Europe, has been returned to jail after judges agreed he might abscond.
Law Lords back Qatada deportation
BBC Wednesday, 18 February 2009
The Law Lords have ruled that radical cleric Abu Qatada can be deported from the UK to Jordan where he faces jail for terrorism.
Abu Qatada jail 'justified', High Court rules
BBC Friday, 19 March 2010
A high-security prison governor acted reasonably when he tried to prevent a Muslim preacher "radicalising" Muslim inmates, the High Court has ruled.

_45488059_a98e0f6f-f9d0-4966-85ec-a18043524600These are just some of the quotes about this Arab despot from our Judges. They seem to have him nailed yet for the last ten years yet this poor excuse for a man has given the courts of this country the run around.

I really dislike it when the BBC or any of our newspapers call this man Abu Qatada for this is not his name. His real name is Omar Mahmoud Mohammed Othman. Abu means Father or esteemed father and Qatada is probably the name of his first son. Abu Qatada = Esteemed father of Qatada. To him you and I are just the ‘infidels’. When I was in Saudi I was sometimes referred to as Abu Toby. In the Arab culture this is, as you can see, a term of endearment. We don't want to endear this man to ourselves.

Now about this Jordan thing. I cant help wondering, given that Omar Mahmoud Mohammed Othman was born of Palestinian/Jordanian parents in Israel why he has to go to Jordan. It really shouldn’t matter to us where he goes all we should have to do is simply give him a week to arrange somewhere to go. He could go to Palestine, he could go to Israel or any of the other 70+ Islamic republics that there are in the world. This man, with the eyes of death, has no claim on this country whatsoever he has abused our hospitaliy and cost us a lot of spondoolicks making sure his human rights were not interfered with. That would be the very same human rights  that he would have refused each and everyone of us had we not cottoned on to him.

Some years ago when it was decreed that he would be deported Human rights group Amnesty International said it was "gravely concerned" about the ruling's implications.

Spokesman Nicola Duckworth said: "No-one should be deported to face a risk of torture, whatever they might be alleged or suspected to have done.

(He doesn’t have to go back to Jordan)

"States simply cannot pick and choose which people have human rights.

(unlike Omar Mahmoud Mohammed Othman who chooses who can live and who can die)

"If these individuals in question are reasonably suspected of having committed a criminal offence relating to terrorism, it is always open to the UK authorities to charge them and give them a fair trial."

I kinda think he has had more than a fair crack of the whip (no pun intended!) and he should stop wasting our money. I cant help wondering where the Nichola Duckworths are when his victims are dead and dying. Show him to the airport let him choose.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

London Boaters verses BW

LONDON BOATERS ‘A vibrant community of people who live on boats in London, mostly without a permanent mooring.’ Or so it says at their Twitter profile. The without a permanent mooring means they are Continuous Cruisers. So you will forgive me if  I don’t see the problem with BW asking them not to inhabit particular parts of the canal/river for a specified period of time, as long as it is for a ‘bona-fide’ reason. That period can be managed for the time they need to be away from a particular area so it shouldn’t really cause much, if any, inconvenience. I don’t see what their argument is, but we know it is not as simple as that. Life never is.

However we all pay to travel the whole system. That system baring maintenance is supposed to be open to all 365 days of the year. It should not be closed to traffic for specific periods so that BW can charge a friggin gold mine for a few boaters who want to see the Olympics and stay on their boat. Is it that people with money are too posh to moor alongside/near ‘ordinary’ boaters. They may think that, but let me tell you the reverse is often true.

So BW and the powers that be start talking about security. If security is a problem  a simple profiling exercise would show that boaters are are generally diamond geezers and hardly likely to lob an RPG round or SAM 7 missile into the Olympic Stadium. If boaters are a security risk then so is any one living in the vicinity. Why haven’t the powers that be started emptying the people from the local houses. You can get a better aim from an upstairs bedroom window

If I don’t come back here to work this summer I will  be out and about on the water. I haven’t been to London yet I might like to go, but no those who are normally in the Olympic vicinity will be shoved off to where ever they can get a mooring and certainly, for the likes of me, there wont be a mooring to be had east of Uxbridge. In this case BW are not only pissing on the LONDON BOATERS, but every other boater that wants to visit London this year. “Well you can go another year,” I hear you say. We might not be here next year. I could contract veils disease tomorrow and be dead by the end of the week.

British Waterways, can I just reiterate, the waterways belong to the people, all of the people. To prevent some people using it because others will pay squillions is totally unfair. It smacks of apartheid, excluding one section of society in favour of another. It may have escaped your notice we boaters are people, we have rights. You are behaving like fascists. If you want a fight I am sure you will get one, this country is good at sorting out fascists.


I love the way the truth is twisted. This little statement looks innocent enough.

A Defra spokeswoman said: “We have already committed nearly half a billion pounds worth of property and £390 million in funding over the next ten years to help the charity get off to the best possible start.

Now correct me if I am wrong but the half billion pounds worth of property is surely part of the system that the government are trying to unload onto the CRT so that HMG can walk away washing their hands of the whole business.

Post Script
The Canal system we have here in the UK is second to none in the world. It is unique to Britain, an integral part of our history. HMG should not baulk in its duty to ensure the Canals and Rivers of this country are properly preserved for the future. If the government doesn’t want this historical wonder then how about they hand over to the CRT all taxes made by canal related business, then we could have a fantastic system.


Even though we were promised by the government that the Freedom of Information Act would be applicable to The Canal and Rivers Trust when the operations are transferred from British Waterways it seems like most Government promises this one is as empty as any others.

The Sunday Express has discovered that the promise will only last for two years. So much for government promises. The small print of a Defra document published last month reveals that there will be a review of the pledge in 2014. Should the Government think that the administrative burden of complying with the Act has placed the new charity in a “disadvantageous” position compared with charities then it will reconsider the commitment.

If the CRT is placed in a “disadvantageous” position compared with other charities then surely its the other charities that need to comply with the FOI. It cannot be right that any charitable organisation is allowed to operate without the level of transparency the FOI affords.

But what disadvantage are they talking about? Would it prevent people from donating if they were able to see what salaries, bonuses and pensions were being paid to the bosses. Yeah that’s probably it!

David Cameron has been spouting on about the ‘Big Society’ since before he became the second biggest flim-flam artist ever. I wonder if he will ever stop treating citizens like they were stupid. Hey David how about a bit of honesty. I think we could probably all get together if it was:-

The Big Honest Society

Saturday, 14 January 2012

North of the border

Well, well, well, our countrymen north of the border want to have a referendum on devolution/independence. I think that is a great idea However, given that they are a part of the union, the whole of the Union should be able vote. This is something that will affect all of us. And besides  we want to make a sure they get a yes vote, don’t we?

We that are left after the split should be better off and might want to encourage the rebuilding of Hadrian’s wall. The Scotch* don’t want us to be involved, but that is unfair. The English have been governed by the Scotch* for too long. The British Government (cabinet) for many years has been liberally doused with people whose first language has been their often difficult version of English, a sort of celtic patwa.

Central Government Fund part of the local councils budget in England, Wales and Scotland to different levels. England gets less per head of population than Wales who get less per head of population than Scotland.  Which means England gets less than both of them. Lets cut the Scotch** nation free and see if they survive.

*Before anyone gets pedantic Scotch is English for Scot.
** the nation that makes Scotch.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

CRT or not CRT

I wonder what would happen if the Government said, “Sorry, but no it wont happen this year. It all needs more time to sort things out.” What would happen to those who BW have hired as Fund Raisers and Donor Managers etc. Where would the funding for their salaries come from? Purely theoretical you understand. I’m just thinking out loud. Although I am sure we all understand that CRT does not exist and will not exist unless the financing is sorted.

Night all!

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

BW Scotland?

Wheel of fortune: Amor’s £2.3m waterways contract
(Unfortunate choice of headline)

By Peter Ranscombe
Published on Wednesday 4 January 2012 02:09

AMOR Group, the fast-growing Scottish IT firm, yesterday unveiled a £2.3 million deal with British Waterways Scotland, the body that runs the Union and Forth & Clyde canals and the Falkirk Wheel boat lift.

The Inchinnan-based company will design a computer system for the canal operator, which is being split up from its partner organisations in England and Wales and so needs stand-alone IT infrastructure.

Amor said it will fulfil the three-year contract by using the Scottish Government data centre at Saughton House in Edinburgh, which the company also runs.

Debs Hurst, financial controller at British Waterways Scotland, said: “With Scottish ministers having decided we shall remain in public ownership as a stand-alone public body, we needed a partner to help us develop a new IT system that is flexible enough to support business growth. We are delighted to partner with Amor.


I don’t know that much about all this computer system stuff but I am relatively good at flim-flam and bullshit. I have in the past written contracts for military computer system albeit for a smaller system 20 years ago, but even then my budget was about £200,000.

BW Scotland will have 200 miles of waterways to manage after they get cut off from the main system. I can imagine they will need much more than a couple of dozen staff in the office and the same on the ground [most contracted out]. The work of such a small organisation could probably be carried out on half a dozen laptops.  So will someone please tell me how such a small system needs £2.3 million pounds worth of computers. They already have most of the hardware and they may or may not need to actually disconnect it from the current nationwide system.

Amor are the fastest growing IT company in Scotland I am not bloody surprised with contracts like that coming in

With bulk buying discount they would probably be able to buy 10,000 laptops or more. Thats 50 laptops for every mile of water. Are they really serious. Don’t they know there is a recession on. We can’t afford to be throwing money away like this. At this time. What ever happened to

“We are all in this together”

its just a twee little sound bite like all the other shite we are constantly fed by the bastards that run the show both in BW, the fat cats, the Government in fact every one for who the recession means no more than a new tax avoidance trick to side step a minor inconvenience. 

Oooo I think I have just had a funny turn Cough! and moving swiftly on . . . . . . . . .

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

I think . . . . .

. . . . the Boaters Manifesto is now officially dead in the water.

From Twitter

 workboatpug Workboat Pug
aka Jonathan David Ody

Daily Rant: Where exactly do boaters get the impression that they have a right to be listened to??? If you don't like it >> caravans, ennit?

This from a man who claims to be the voice of the Oxford waterways. I can’t think of any boater who will accept a statement like that how ever well intentioned the original idea of the site. Someone throw him a lifebelt.

Hire Base Still in Thrupp

North Oxford’s premier Canoe and Kayak hire base is still operating in Thrupp. Canoeing weather is not far away.
Have you ever thought you might like to take out a canoe or kayak on to Oxfords waterways for the afternoon now the hot weather is here?
Where would you go to languish on the calm waters of the Oxford Canal or paddle along the more challenging river?
Where would you go in Oxford to hire a canoe or kayak?
Canoe & Kayak Hire
Thrupp Oxford
Canoe Clip Art
In Thrupp, 8 miles north of Oxford, at the old BW yard on the OXFORD CANAL you can hire a canoe or kayak by the hour or by the day/half day. You can set off in tree lined shade along the canal and then on to the river for an enjoyable paddle ‘up the creek’ so to speak.
If you can’t be bothered to make lunch we can provide a picnic lunch for £8 pp. You can have lunch in Annie’s Tea Rooms or finish your day with a fabulous dinner at the near by Boat Inn
North from Thrupp will take you by way of Shipton Weir Lock onto the River Cherwell where you can go north again to Bakers lock and The Rock of Gibraltar or south down towards the old paper mill at Hampton Gaye.
South from Thrupp to the Jolly Boatman then onward you will pass the outskirts of Kidlington and if you are fit down to the River Thames.
Phone 01865842708
The phone will be answered by a garden landscaping company but it is all the same people so leave a message. If you want to turn up on spec ask in the tea rooms for me, Maffi, and we will get your boat out onto the water.
Set your Tom Tom to OX5 1JZ Look forward to seeing you soon.

Monday, 9 January 2012

The Boater’s Manifesto

The Boater’s Manifesto was written to put forward the wants and needs of the boaters to the ‘new’ CRT in order that boaters are not sidelined if the transition takes place in April. I have stayed clear of it until the last few days. Just popping in on the odd occasion to see how things were progressing. This weekend due to a very severe dose of man flu I peeked in again, well when you are dying there is little else to waste your time on.

One of the main protagonists spoke to one of the 191 members in a manner that does not engender feelings of confidence in the hierarchy and ended up banning him. 190 members now are reeling. By the time I disassociated myself there were only 185 members. It is not very representative of boaters at all. I did ask said protagonist to stand down (he is an administrator I think) because his behaviour was suspect, but he would have none of it. He didn’t think that calling a member a c**t  was a problem. Well I wouldn’t either but the said member was being rebuked for using bad language.

I think the Manifesto in essence is a good idea. What I don’t like about it is what is left out. I have mentioned this on the writers blog. It says a lot about what boaters want, but very little about what boaters are going to contribute. That in my opinion is its downfall.

Please don’t take this as gospel. It is after all only my opinion.

Go look for yourself with an open mind. And please contribute if you can. You may find it to be exactly what you feel is needed.


The CRT is not far away. Come April whether or not it is the right thing to do we will have the CRT like it or not. I am absolutely amazed that the IWA which has been a stalwart of the waterways for 60 years does not have a place on the trust automatically. They along with other boating organisations, RBOA, NABO etc have to fight for one of the 4 Private Boaters seats. Should they win those seats the private boater will effectively be outside the CRT. The IWA is not about boaters it is about the waterways. Boaters who provide 13% of one income pot will have no influence on the CRT whilst walkers, cyclists, neighbours? who provide nothing to the pot get 4 seats along with anglers, donors and ’other supporters’ who ever they are. Were it not for the IWA The Board of BW would be car park attendants. How British Waterways (new name Canal and River Trust) can ignore the work of the IWA fills me with wonder. It would be a bit like the Dutch government ignoring the boy whose finger in the Dyke saved Holland from sinking into the sea. BW have over the years done some very daft things but this . . . . . . .!






Private Boating





Boating Business










Other Supporters – walkers, anglers, cyclists, neighbours, donors, etc










Historic Environment





Natural Environment





Local Government





Local Partnerships Chairs (including Museums and all Wales Partnerships)










Initial Total




* to convert to elected members once electoral roll database developed

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Crack down

David Cameron is going to crack down on bosses pay. Err about thirty years too late.


This is the flag of the Islamic Republic of Iran. flagge-iranThe description of the Iranian Flag is as follows:

Three equal horizontal bands of green (top), white, and red.

The national emblem (a stylized representation of the word Allah in the shape of a tulip, a symbol of martyrdom) in red is centred in the white band.

ALLAH AKBAR (God is Great) in white Arabic script is repeated 11 times along the bottom edge of the green band and 11 times along the top edge of the red band.

According to Ancient and Heraldic traditions much symbolism is associated with colours. The colours on the Iran flag represent the following:

White - peace and honesty.

Red - hardiness, bravery, strength & valour

Green - hope, joy and love and in many cultures have a sacred significance as that of Iran

This is all very idyllic if there is truth in this, but following the Arab Spring the Irainan government are scared of the ability of the new technologies that can bring down the rulers of state and bring about democratic intervention.

Iran is working on its own domestic Internet, a “Halal” network that will restrict citizens from penetrating foreign sites. Halal is an Arabic word meaning lawful or permitted  is the opposite of Harram which means forbidden or bad. Internet users are reporting delays in their network connections, which is believed to be connected to the new network’s trial run.

The domestic Internet aims to restrict the influence of non-Islamic culture and western ideology. More importantly it allows the government to tell its own version of truth to the people of Iran. The network — technically an Intranet — should be ready to go live within a few weeks, Iranian media reported. What this will do is allow the Iranian Government to control what access Iranians have to the truthful information and of course to all porn sites. The government will decide what is the truth and what truth their  citizens know. Of course if there should be an ‘Iranian spring’ the government can shut down the system leaving protesters isolated from their contemporaries. A new slant on the old adage ‘divide and conquer’ maybe.

The connection is being reported as slower than usual and access to political sites is restricted and access to sites such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, in fact all sites all sites that had a great influence on the Arab Spring

The country announced its plans (link in Farsi) to build the Intranet in March 2011, motivated by social media fueled protests during its 2009 election and inspired by China’s domestic controls. So ‘Iranian Islam’ in this instance is planning to slow down the technical revolution and block the access to the future so keeping Moslems back in the dark ages. Iran plans to offer Intranet access to nearby countries interested in taking advantage of the Halal network. Hilal in this instance has come to mean  ‘controlled’.

“We can describe it as a genuinely ‘halal’ network aimed at Muslims on an ethical and moral level,” the Iranian Deputy Minister for Economic Affairs Ali Agha Mohammadi writes.

Yes Ali you can describe it as a genuinely ‘halal’ network aimed at Muslims on an ethical and moral level, but that is not the truth. Islam will only survive if the  truth is restricted.

While the Intranet will initially run parallel to the global Internet, the plan is to eventually restrict access to the Web to only governmental ministries, banks and big industries. Currently, According to government estimates 23 million Iranians are Internet users. That means 23 million people who are  connected to each other. That’s about a  third of all the people in a country of 78 million. Wars can be won by the side with the best communications.

In addition to testing the Intranet, the Islamic country launched a new round of web restrictions, which require Internet cafes to install security cameras and document their user’s personal details, such as their ID numbers, addresses and fathers’ names. Cafes have 15 days to get their camera systems in place.

The new restrictions come two months before the upcoming parliamentary elections Mar. 2, and amidst talk of international sanctions. The government hopes the latest restrictions will limit election-related protests of the kind that organized on social networks in Egypt last year.

All online planning of protests — through social media or email — will be considered NATIONAL SECURITY crimes. (This is different to the situation we had here in the UK during the late summer where the internet and social networks were used to commit crimes of looting theft and arson). Well no surprises there then.

This is about Islam and morality, not Islam and morality as laid down in the Qur’aan, but as laid down by radical Islamists who as it happens are the government. Its about keeping the masses under the control of the government, and the mullahs who control the government. The object of the exercise is that no one has protection, they can trace whoever is involved in what they perceive as anti-government activity at any given moment and at any location,” Ehsan Norouzi, an Iranian cybersecurity expert living in Germany told the WSJ.

Sources WSJ & Mashable.com


I found this line under ‘Iran flag etiquette’.

  • No disrespect should be shown to the Iran flag
It is a shame that they don’t show the same respect for the flags of other nations.

    Thursday, 5 January 2012

    Samuel Smith thieves

    It cannot be right that a brewery owner can suspend staff because they refuse to break the law. Samuel Smiths Brewery  have demanded their managers serve every pint 5% short. The manager at one pub, The Junction, give their customers what they ask for. On New Years Eve one of the brewery owners walked into the Royton pub at 8.30 in the evening and shut  the pub. Mean, selfish, fascist. Whilst I feel sorry for the manager and his wife I hope the pub closes for ever due to lack of customers.

    Full story here

    Wednesday, 4 January 2012


    It is nearly three years since I quit smoking. 27 February  2009. I say this not because I want cheers (waits for cheers to cease) but so you know I speak with the tongue of a ‘reformed sinner’, and they can be such a pain. When I was in Rugby a while back, outside of a small block of flats, canal side, along the edge of the canal were hundreds of dog-ends seemingly thrown from the flats into the canal, but not quite making the distance. Cigarette ends proliferate along the canal side. I remember I used to flick my dog-ends into the water as I went along. And I hate myself for it now. In parts of Oxfordshire there is a fine of £75 for dropping a cigarette end in the street or public place. I think Abingdon has signs up. I don't see why that cant be applied across the board. Enforcement would be a problem, but we shouldn't let that stop us making laws that in time will improve the environment. Lack of enforcement has never before been used as an excuse.

    Andy Tidy

    Andy Tidy, Author of Captain Ahab's Watery Tales is putting himself up for the CRT. This is his mini statement.

    “My passion for boating dates from the ‘dirty ditches’ of the 1960's to the magnificent system of today. I have travelled widely on our narrowboat Wand'ring Bark, and it has been said that canal water flows through my veins!

    Professionally, I oversee operational integrity within a multinational business, shaping policy, strategy and applying a commercial approach to planning.

    If elected I will approach this Council role as an enthusiast and a professional, combining 30 years of commercial experience with a 40 year passion for our waterways. It's crucial that the C&RT strikes the right balance between the needs of the various user groups, particularly the boaters who must remain core to its operation.

    I will take a critical view of commercial and strategic aspects of the Trust's proposals and plans. I would be honoured to represent the boating community.”

    Well, I don’t know about you, but, this guy gets my vote.

    Tuesday, 3 January 2012

    North of Nuneaton

    This burnt out plastic hull is just north of Nuneaton, Funnily enough the next bridge down from the washing machine in this post. Apparently this hull is now across the water causing an obstruction.

    Monday, 2 January 2012

    Today . . .

    . . . we had visitors. This is Buster and Olive, Sarah and Marks dogs nb Woodruff. Molly kept her head down.


    Molly . . .

    . . . doing her Del Trotter impression


    Boots . . .

    . . . its too small!DSCF2554

    I told you so!DSCF2551

    Now Boots play nicely share Molly’s toysDSCF2507

    Oi! you heard him share ya bag o’ bones.DSCF2500

    Right! I’ll have this end.DSCF2502

    In the New year

    Take a long walk through a muddy forest then stop off at a tea room for some refreshment. Don't forget to take your boots off.