Monday, 30 April 2012
Sunday, 29 April 2012
I took this picture to highlight that, despite a very sturdy pedal to operate the bin, some moron had managed to break it.
However more important is the message it gives on the bin. It is not acceptable to let your dog dump in the environment and you MUST clear it up!
Recently a man was fined £2,000 for four separate counts of dog fouling (£500 each). The twist is that the dog fouls were actually in his own front garden, but neighbours complained of the smell.
BE WARNED dog owners.
Friday, 27 April 2012
Yesterday I had a visit from Sue of Bedford. She wanted a day out so came to Oxford. We visited the sculpture Gallery in the Ashmolean Museum. Just a short visit. We saw the bust of Betty who inspired the ‘famous’ poem ‘Betty, Betty, Betty’, a bust of The Duke of Wellington who has the biggest nose and a copy of the death mask of Oliver Cromwell. Ironic really that this man should be oggled for an eternity by the very class of people he sought to repress from the arts.
We sat in a very windy entrance way part of the old Taylor Institute to eat our lunch which Sue brought with her. There is no where at the museum to sit and eat a picnic lunch out side the building and you are not allowed to eat your own food inside. From there we made our way to the Natural History Museum, but went via Broad Street to see a ‘Gormley’
There are a lot of touchy feely exhibits
Directly behind the NHM is the Pitt Rivers Museum where we saw a collection of shrunken heads among other things,
Thursday, 26 April 2012
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Monday, 23 April 2012
After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The husband said to the doctor, "B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem."
"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:"1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in New Zealand, Tasmania, parts of Liverpool , Southern USA, and some areas near Gympie.
I am writing to ask you to stand down as priminister. It is clear you are not up to the job, you are lacking in the physical attributes required.
This is Oscar I would like to propose him as your replacement. He does have the physical attributes required.
There is just time to get your letter of resignation to the editor of the Sun before they go to press. A grateful nation will sleep soundly and of course reward you with a nithood.
Many thanks for your co-operation
Saturday, 21 April 2012
At the bottom of my post Celtic Kiwi I mentioned Odet who was on a Black Prince boat. I recieved this email today so I now know his name proper.
just want to say that it was a pleasure to meet you and to apologize for not saying hello on the way back.
Reason was, that there was no way back.
We got stuck near Lechlade for three days with a broken engine, untill Black Prince in there wisdom decided to rescue us. They send us a taxi and brought us back to Napton where they gave us a new boat.
We did an easy run to Warwick and back, before we had to head home.
Hope to see you again soon.
odet aka Thomas
In all this Qatada debacle I really get the feeling that he is yanking our chain. If he really had reason to appeal why did he wait until the virtually last minute until he filed his case More to the point why did we wait to see if he would. There is our home secretary saying, “He is out of here,” when it seems she doesn’t even know what day of the week it is.
There is obviously no one single member of the government who has the kahunas to actually march him on to a plane and escort him to Jordan. Churchill (peace be upon him) would never have stood for this.
Qatada is playing us like a violin and you can believe he is a maestro.
Dear David, Grow some balls and get this evil man out of our country or stand down. ‘You have been weighed measured and found wanting.’ At the moment you are unelectable.
Friday, 20 April 2012
“British Waterways announced that it has purchased 29,460 balloons, 48,750 metres of bunting and 25 thousand stickers for the launch of Canal and River Trust.”
= 4.35 items per £
or 23p per item
So for £47,460 they not only get the balloons, bunting and stickers they want, but also someone to blame when Artichokes. BOOM! BOOM!
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
When I wrote my post Heth, you were very far from my thoughts. I am sorry you wasted your time. As usual you have hold of the wrong end of a very shitty stick. You have totally misrepresented everything I said, but then you do that a lot.
To clarify: It seems that whenever the CCer subject is brought up the whinger is a paid up moorer (you don’t find CCers raising this issue) . David Nobody is such a whinger. I was not having a pop at you, or any of the vast majority of marina moorers, just those who wish to complain about CCers and there are more than a few (plural). If you don’t complain about CCers then my post was obviously not aimed at you and you have wasted your time. Of course you have a right to comment. I would never deny you that, but stick to the facts. Don't twist what I say, to fit your agenda, you wont win.
How I write, is how I write. I am no Steinbeck and don’t profess to be. I don’t see the point of pussy footing about because people don’t really understand how angry you are, but I am a writer not simply a blogger.
Not only do I feel passionate about the canals, but I do get my hands dirty practicing what I preach.
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
British Waterways announced that it has purchased 29,460 balloons, 48,750 metres of bunting and 25 thousand stickers for the launch of Canal and River Trust.
Hoorah for British Waterways there is nothing like reinforcing common knowledge. Yet another demonstration that BW is not fit for purpose.
I wonder if some one at British Waterways can tell me when they intend to fix the bridge at Thrupp which has been out of action now for four days. It not just that £40,000 was wasted on this project, but with the electro/hydraulic system inoperative we have to revert to the tried and tested manual method. With all the extra hardware attached this bridge is a positive danger. It is now harder to lift the bridge than it has ever been and people are putting themselves in danger.
I know, perhaps if they attach 29,000 helium filled balloons to it, it may help.
I am sure one day in the fullness of time there will be an entry in an encyclopaedia that says:
British Waterways – syn - Muppets.
Monday, 16 April 2012
Sunday, 15 April 2012
There are many things that I am, one thing I am not is stupid. Skype seem to be telling me that I am. It has taken me several attempts to get a new password set up. Skype insists on 6 letters and at least one number in your password. So I enter my password of six digits and four numbers which I use a lot. NO! According to Skype it is ‘too easy’ to guess. Are they mad? There are millions of combinations of 6 letters and 4 numbers even if the numbers are consecutive. Who is gonna guess.Who is good enough to guess. No one except maybe Jesus.com and he wouldn’t need to know my password, his dad, God.com, knows everything.
Anyway having wasted far too much time sorting out a password I set to trying to use Skype. It is now one hour since I switched my lappy on and I want to end my life. This is the clunkiest pile of crap programing I have ever had the displeasure to use. And I haven’t actually got to the sharp end yet.Now I know that many of you use Skype and will want to tell me that you don’t have any problem with it. That is not helpful. Should you decide to take this course of action I will don my cyclepath armour and venture fourth to your place of residence and kill you all and your bunny.
Irrespective of your opinion, I say Skype is crap. I can say this because as I pointed out at the beginning I am not stupid. I bought my first computer in 1990 and have not been without one since. I have been involved in management of IT systems with in the military. I have taught IT. I have had several mentions for my IT skills from departments I have worked in whilst serving in the military, so from this you will know That I am computer literate and not stupid
Saturday, 14 April 2012
. . . . some snivelling little shit raises the issue of Continuous Cruisers and why can’t they pay more. Canal Boat Magazine May Issue has some David ‘Nobody’ spouting off about how CCers should be paying more because they use the system more. Its the same old shit just a different writer. I have written hundreds of thousands of word on this subject (this is yet another thousand) and now I really am sick and tired of the whining.
If you bought a boat and have to leave it in a marina most of the year that is your problem not mine. I paid £748 for my 58 foot boat licence this year as did all boats of that length. Every single 58 ft boat has exactly the same access to all of the canal system as I do, so can someone please tell me why I should pay more for my licence?
I get nothing more for my £748 than any one else. You might argue that I get to moor up for free. Well it may have escaped your notice, but when you come out of your nice secure little parking lot with all the facilities, you too moor for free. Yes I know you pay to moor in the marina but you don’t pay to moor outside the marina so why should I.
When you buy a boat you should go into it with your eyes wide open having researched all the financial aspects of boat owning, so that you know (at the outset) what it is going to cost you. Then you accept that, go out and enjoy your boat. This is what I did and every other sensible boat owner does the same.
You do not buy a boat thinking, “When I have my boat I wont be able to CC so I will make it hard for those that can”. You accept what it will cost you and enjoy your boat. If you don’t want to do that then go away and get a camper van, you are not wanted on the water.
I know what my boat is costing me. It cost me my vote at the last general election because I don’t have a post code. It costs me a fortune in bus fares because I cannot get a bus pass, I don’t have a post code. My heating bill is higher than others of my age, I don’t get heating allowance because I don’t have a post code. These are just three examples of what it cost me.
Why do all you whinging little shits who buy a boat, you cannot get good use out of, feel it is necessary for me to pay for your stupidity. I have an income of less than £500 a month which I receive for serving my country for over 25 years. Any plan to increase licences for CCers will actually see me, and others like me, living on the streets sleeping in a cardboard box, is that what you really want?
Whereas most of you have a house and your boat is a hobby, my boat is my home. If you cant afford to keep your boat on the water its really no big deal, you can sell it and still have a home. If I cannot afford to keep my boat on the water it is a big deal because it is all I have got. I can sell it but at what loss? Then what? As a single, white, male with a small military pension I qualify for BUGGER ALL. Whilst £500 a month is not to be sneezed at I would have to live in a hostel. Thank you for your support, you snivelling little whinger!
The simplicity of it is you are all jealous that some of us can have a fulltime life on the canal. You, are like spoilt little kids who, want someone else’s toys to play with. You are gonna scream until you get your way, you infantile little pricks. I have paid my dues, when you have paid yours you can have a life like mine. You will of course have to accept the bad bits, the muddy towpath, the lack of security, the spasms in your fingers from handling wet ropes nearly every day, the cramps in your legs that would fell a Marine, the spine that is only pain free in one position and you don’t know where that is. Until such time shut up.
What you Muppets should be saying is ‘I only come out of the marina for two weeks of the year so I want a discount’. Or you could argue that boats in marinas should only pay a licence fee when they come out on to the system. Don’t fuck the CCer up because you made a bad-purchasing decision. I made a good purchasing decision I get the maximum benefit out of my licence, as do many others, the same benefit as you are entitled to if you were not a numpty. What you really mean is you have a job and a family and cannot make best use of your boat? I had a job and a family! I waited until they had all flown the coup before I bought my boat.
Leave us alone. You don’t want to piss us off coz if you Muppets get your way and we pay to moor, we are going to moor . . . . wherever we please . . . . in all the prime spots. You of course will complain, but will only have yourselves to blame.
The rank and file boater will not benefit from CCer’s paying any exrtra. Your licence fee will still increase by more than inflation year on year. It makes no sense to take this to it conclusion. When you are sixty plus and the bottom has fallen out of your pension pot and you cannot afford to live on your boat you are gonna be one sick puppy and I will be laughing at you from heaven or pissing on you from hell.
Give it up its a no win situation.
And relax . . . . . .
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
George Osborne is said to be ‘shocked’ that some of the wealthiest people in the UK pay ‘virtually’ no income tax. I am ‘shocked’ that he is shocked. After all he has just reduced their tax burden. Did he not do any homework before the last budget? Isn’t it part of his job to understand where money can be viably prised out of peoples pockets to increase the country’s coffers?
That he is shocked at such a revelation tells me he is not fit to be the in charge of the UK’s finances. Maybe Cameron needs to stop giving out jobs to his cronies and employ high calibre competent people who will not waste time being ‘shocked’, but do the job properly and ‘amaze’ us with with their sound judgement.
Although in all fairness if I were a rich person and paying lots of tax I would fire my accountant.
Monday, 9 April 2012
Below you will find a list of keywords and expressions that the Department of Homeland Security in America are searching for in your emails text messages Facebook Twitter etc. I can imagine that if every one added a part of this list to every email they send the Americans will be spinning out of control.
2600, Abu Sayyaf, Afghanistan, Agent, Agriculture, Agro, Agro Terror, Aid, Air Marshal, Airplane (and derivatives), Airport, Al Queda (all spellings), Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms (ATF), Al-Shabaab, Ammonium nitrate, AMTRAK, Anthrax, Antiviral, AQAP (Al Qaeda Arabian Peninsula), AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb), Arellano-Felix, Artistics Assassins, Assassination, Attack, Attack, Authorities, Avalanche, Avian, Bacteria, Barrio Azteca, BART, Basque Separatists, Beltran-Leyva, Biological, Biological infection (or event), Biological weapon, Black out, Blister agent, Blizzard, Body scanner, Bomb (squad or threat), Border, Border Patrol Secret Service (USSS), Botnet, Breach, Bridge, Brown out, Brush fire, Brute forcing, Burn, Burst, Bust, Cain and abel, Calderon, Canceled, Car bomb, Cartel, Cartel de Golfo, Center for Disease Control (CDC), Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), Chemical, Chemical burn, Chemical fire, Chemical Spill, Chemical weapon, China, CIKR (Critical Infrastructure & Key Resources), Ciudad Juarez, Closure, Cloud, Coast Guard (USCG), Cocaine, Collapse, Colombia, Communications infrastructure, Computer infrastructure, Conficker, Consular, Contamination, Conventional weapon, Cops, Crash, Crest, Critical infrastructure, Customs and Border Protection (CBP), Cyber attack, Cyber Command, Cyber security, Cyber terror, DDOS (dedicated denial of service), Deaths, Decapitated, Delays, Denial of service, Dirty Bomb, Dirty bomb, Disaster, Disaster assistance, Disaster management, Disaster medical assistance team (DMAT), DNDO (Domestic Nuclear Detection Office), Dock, Domestic nuclear detection, Domestic Security Domestic security, Drill, Drug, Drug Administration (FDA), Drug cartel, Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA), Drug trade, Drug war, E. Coli Earthquake, Ebola, Eco terrorism, El Paso, Electric, Emergency, Emergency Broadcast System Emergency Landing, Emergency management, Emergency response, Enriched, Environmental terrorist, Epidemic, Epidemic, Erosion, ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna), Evacuation, Evacuation, Execution, Exercise, Explosion (explosive), Exposure, Exposure, Extreme weather, Extremism, Facility Failure or outage, FARC (Armed Revolutionary Forces Colombia), Federal Air Marshal Service (FAMS), Federal Aviation Administration (FAA), Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), First responder, Flood, Flu, Food Poisoning, Foot and Mouth (FMD), Forest fire, Fort Hancock, Fundamentalism, Fusion Center, Gang, Gangs, Gas, Grid, Gulf Cartel, Gunfight, Guzman, H1N1, H5N1, Hacker, Hail, Hamas, Hazardous, Hazardous material incident, Hazmat, Health Concern + H1N1 Help, Heroin, Hezbollah, Home grown, Homeland Defense, Homeland security, Hostage, Human to ANIMAL, Human to human, Hurricane, Ice, IED (Improvised Explosive Device), Illegal immigrants, Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE), Improvised explosive device, Incident, Industrial spill, Infection, Infection, Influenza, Infrastructure Security Infrastructure security, Interstate, IRA (Irish Republican Army), Iran, Iraq, Islamist Jihad, Juarez, Keylogger, Kidnap, La Familia, Law enforcement, Leak, Lightening, Listeria, Lockdown, Looting, Los Zetas, Magnitude, Malware, Mara salvatrucha, Marijuana, Maritime domain awareness (MDA), MARTA, Matamoros, Meth Lab, Methamphetamine, Metro, Mexican army, Mexicles, Mexico, Michoacana, Militia, Mitigation, MS13 or MS-13, Mud slide or Mudslide, Mutation, Mysql injection, Narco banners (Spanish equivalents), Narcos, Narcotics, National Guard, National infrastructure, National laboratory, National Operations Center (NOC), National preparedness, National preparedness initiative, National security, Nationalist, NBIC (National Biosurveillance Integration Center), Nerve agent, New Federation Nigeria, Nogales, North Korea Norvo Virus, Nuclear, Nuclear, Nuclear facility, Nuclear threat, Nuevo Leon, Organized crime, Outbreak, Pakistan, Pandemic, Phishing, Phreaking, Pipe bomb, Pirates, Plague, PLF (Palestine Liberation Front), PLO (Palestine Libration Organization), Plot, Plume, Police, Pork, Port, Port Authority, Powder (white), Power, Power lines Power outage, Prevention, Public Health, Quarantine, Radiation, Radicals, Radioactive, Recall, Recovery, Recruitment, Red Cross, Relief, Resistant, Response, Reynose, Reyosa, Ricin, Riot, Rootkit, Salmonella, San Diego, Sarin, Scammers, Screening, Secure Border Initiative (SBI), Security, Service disruption, Shelter-in-place, Shooting, Shootout, Shots fired, Sick, Sinaloa, Sleet, Small Pox, Smart, Smuggling (smugglers), Snow, Social media Somalia, Sonora, Southwest, Southwest Border Violence Spammer, Spillover, Standoff, State of emergency, Storm, Strain, Stranded/Stuck, Subway, Suicide attack, Suicide bomber, Suspicious package/device, Suspicious substance, SWAT, Swine, Symptoms, Taliban, Tamaulipas, Tamiflu, Tamil Tiger, Target, Task Force, Telecommunications, Temblor, Terror, Terrorism, Threat, Tijuana, Tornado, Torreon, Toxic, Toxic, Trafficking, Transportation security, Transportation Security Administration (TSA), Tremor, Trojan, Tsunami, Tsunami Warning Center, TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan), Tuberculosis (TB), Tucson, Twister, Typhoon, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (CIS), U.S. Consulate, United Nations (UN) Vaccine, Violence, Viral Hemorrhagic Fever, Virus, Virus, Warning, Watch, Water/air borne, Wave, Weapons cache, Weapons grade, Wildfire, WMATA, World Health Organization (WHO and components), Worm, Yemen, Yuma,
Sunday, 8 April 2012
Saturday, 7 April 2012
This is very emphatic it says YOU ARE THE WINNER, so why from this dialogue can you not get the iPad 2 that you are supposed to have won. What they mean is if you go to the next window and answer a few questions about yourself then you might get an iPad but the chances are you wont. However now we have your details we can bombard you with shit in your inbox.
I had not long moored up yesterday when, as I was entering through the back door, a chap on the towpath said, “Are you Maffi?” Well sometimes I ask ‘why they want to know’ or ‘how much do I owe you’ or some other equally flippant quip,but I just said “"Yes”.
Roger and Heather hail from Warrendyte in Victoria Australia. After introductions I invited them aboard for tea, sadly I had no cake, hey ho! Here is Molly trying to get in on the act.R&H have a 6 week share in Celtic Kiwi and this is their time. It is so nice that people stop by to say hello. I feel very privileged that people who read this blog want to take time out from their holiday just to say hello.
This is another reader that came by last week who I only know as Odet from face book. I did know their names but have since forgot. A German couple who live and work in Ireland. Germans with Irish accents sounds odd. Thank you all for stopping by.
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
The standby managers at the Boat Inn are reporting some strange ideas coming from those who are viewing the pub with a view to taking it on full time. One chap thinks he can make it a £500,000 a year pub, another wants to turn it into an Italian restaurant, der! Yet another wants to f**k it up completely and turn it into a sports bar.
When will people understand that the Boat Inn is not like the Jolly Boatman because its location is never going to make anyone’s fortune? It is a community pub. It relies on the villagers and the boaters in the lean winter. To the villagers and the boaters it is a meeting place and the hub of the community if only people would stop messing about trying to make it into something it can never be, a money generator!
One prospective owner doesn’t want the boater’s trade. I mean for crying out loud it’s a canal pub in a canal village. What an idiot! Doomed to fail. Chrome and glass just will not suit this pleasant country pub. It will destroy its history, cool its warmth, and change it beyond recognition forever. The Boat Inn does seem like a tired pub. To a degree it needs to be like this. The last time it had a coat of paint and had the lighting changed it changed the pub for the worse.
I think these entrepreneurs have got their sums seriously wrong. The expected clientele according to one prospect will come from Kidlington. Yeah, that hot pot of millionaires in the Oxfordshire countryside. Kidlington is a village, a big village, but a village nonetheless. No disrespect to the people of Kidlington, but they ain’t gonna put a half mil a year into an overpriced pub that they have to get a taxi home from when the village has a half dozen of it’s own pubs from which to choose, who will all sell food cheaper than the ‘Millionaires Arms’. And that’s another thing do we really need another Slug & Lettuce?
The Boat Inn suffers from the lack of the three most important things in the pub business, Location, Location, Location and that; for this pub will never change.
Monday, 2 April 2012
I really do think more signs are need to stop people letting their dog crap on the towpath but these piddling little roundels are not up to the job. They are OK if they are stuck to the dogs arse but other than that they are placed where they are not seen.
This one as you can see is placed several feet away from the pathway. It must be a good eight feet to the wall maybe more.
It just doesn’t work!!! This bag was dumped not far away. Yes you can put up signs, but you cant make a ‘stupid’ dog owner take a blind bit of notice. They might just as well put the sign on the other side of the wall.
Sunday, 1 April 2012
The Old Plough in Braunston Is an old pub as the name might suggest. It is quite a large pub and about to undergo refurbishment, not modernisation but just a bit of tarting up, new flooring and a lick of paint etc. They have a dartboard a skittle table which adds to the charm of the place and are in the local league.
They serve Sharp’s DOOMBAR, BLACK SHEEP, LONDON PRIDE, TETLEY’S, STOWEFORD PRESS, SAN MIGUEL, GUINNESS from the cellar.
What make this pub different for me is this is a very musical pub. No I know that lots of pubs have music both live and piped but here they even provide the instruments. There are 7 guitars hanging on the walls that customers are free to play any time they choose, but Sunday is the main night. There is also a full drum kit available and a keyboard. For the electric guitars there is an amplifier.
You can choose to play a Stretton Payne Acoustic, a Swift acoustic bass, IBANEZ bass, Yamaha PACIFICA, VINTAGE 5 string bass, Squire ‘STRAT’, and an ARIA PRO ll.
I have never come across this before.