Thursday, 11 July 2013


I really do believe there are people in this world who should not be allowed on a boat. It not because they are black or yellow or blue or green, it's because they are stupid. Far too stupid to be allowed near water. Why do I say this? Well the following was posted on Facebook  by a decent sort of chap who nicked it from somewhere else.

"I'm moored near Teddington lock and want to take the boat past the weir in Richmond and moor in Brentford for work. But the river is drained entirely in Brentford every day, meaning the gate in Richmond is locked. I'm trying to find out the timings of when this happens every day so I can figure out when to come and go. Can anyone help?
If 'the river is drained entirely in Brentford every day' what do they do with all the water?

Now now stop laughing he may be only three years old in which case he will learn. Given that he is probably an adult I think he will be a danger to all other users on the river and should be physically restrained to prevent him ever going on a boat much less being in charge of one.


Sue said...

That is the funniest blog post I have seen for quite a while Maffi!! Pity you dont have smilie imoticons on your comment pages because I would have covered the comment box with them!!

Wonderful stuff!

John said...

Clearly, very clean people who moor near Teddington Lock. Where else does he think the water for his morning shower comes from?


NB Constance said...

Well done Maffi! I laughed out loud when I read it. Can it be real? Surely there are not people around who are that daft.

Andy Healey said...

This story made it on to Radio 2 just before the Jeremy Vine show at around 11-30.
The article on the radio seemed to imply that BW empty the river everyday:-)

Graham Moore said...

This was mentioned with much hilarity on Simon Mayo on Radio 2 this afternoon. Definitely a Darwin Awards candidate!

Jessica Good said...

Naah thats where you're wrong Maffi, stupid people don't ask for help!

Johnny Essex said...

I can tell that boater that his water gets pushed up to my end of the river. I'm certainly not pinching his water deliberately, and I'm not sure who does this. I wish I knew, as it plays havoc with my parking string things on my boat ''Ouse Sloopy''. I've noticed that after a while they send the water back, but I've come to expect that now.
Toodle pip, 'Ouse Sloopy'