Sunday, 24 August 2014


I used to feel sorry for the trading boats that were lambasted by the local traders along the Shroppie last year, but now I am seeing it from the village point of view.

Last week this boat arrived:DSCF1469 First off he is taking up more space than he needs by wasting that last twenty five feet of the public mooring, but that is not all. This mooring is barely 100 metres away from Annie’s Tearoom. Well you might say there is nothing illegal in that and you would be right to a point, but the morality of it is wrong.

He has just turned up on spec and opened for business. The people who use this path in the main are Annie’s customers. Annie’s paid for the sign on the main road that brings people down this way. Annie’s have worked hard to make this place what it is today. And this bloke just turns up and takes customers from an existing business.

This boat can offer a cheaper product because his overheads are rock bottom. Annie’s has to pay council tax, rental on the building and the courtyard. There are parking spaces set aside for Annie’s customers (in the rent) which people visiting this floating cafe are using!

This is a hobby boat stealing trade from full time workers. He didn’t moor down by the Jolly Boatman, he didn’t moor up by Shipton bridge no he moored where he could take advantage of the graft that Annies have put in to their business.  He has done nothing to make this area what it is, yet he takes money from other people. He is a moral thief, a parasite feeding off the hard work of others.

Poor show!

Friday, 22 August 2014

Norman came to visit

The last time this boat came through Thrupp the owner threatened to ‘get me’. DSCF1442 Of course the owner is Norman Bate who moors at Heaton Bridge. DSCF1472 Norman hates CCers and bridge hoppers with a vengeance, but he is just so much hot air. He is part of the mooring problem given that he is a regular overstayer. He talks bollox  about having friends in CRTs high places. He will happily talk to anyone until he finds out you are a CCer then he will verbally abuse you and tell you lies about how he is getting CRT to clamp down on dirty soap dodging scum bags. He is one of life’s wankers. Avoid him like the plague. Alternatively you could just punch him.

Monday, 18 August 2014


I often cringe at the chosen footwear boaters use on the waterways. It ranges from bare feet through plimsoles, crocs, wellingtons  to proper sturdy boots.

Notice I said Crocs! What will be the next fad?

Now I know the choice is yours, but the canals are akin to a building site (you cant get onto a building site without the correct footwear). Wearing inappropriate shoes can be fatal. No one drives a car with out a seat belt these days so why do people wear shit shoes when boating? What mentality says this is right?

It is just an accident waiting to happen! And trust me I know!


Where is the Jackal?

The extremist Muslim organisation ISIS are openly recruiting on the streets of London. David Cameron and the Mayor of London are learning to play the violin. The Met Police are doing nothing. This is despite David Cameron saying it would never happen.

I really think the only way to stop Cameron is to terminate his life. That will never happen either!

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Driving a boat

Put a group of 6 people on a narrow boat and you can be sure they will choose the most inept, incompetent among them to drive boat. Fecking up a 90 deg turn is excusable but making it into a 360 and trying to park in the car park is just not acceptable.

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Where is this?

It was a Portico built on to the constituency home of a prominent Tory politician.

You will be pleased to know it cost you the tax-payer £5,700. Bargain!

Conversation with a hire boater

From my side hatch I said, “You are coming up to a tight right hander under a lift bridge”.

“I know”.

“Then why are you going so fecking fast?”

I sat back and listened for the impending crash. It came!

I swear one day a narrowboat will land in Annie’s courtyard along with a couple of million gallons of canal water.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

My alcohol consumption increases during the summer months. I don’t buy more Guinness , but more Guinness gets bought for me. Many friends visit Thrupp and we spend time catching up at the Boat Inn. Its good to meet up because up to now I spend my summers here, but would rather be out and about meeting people.

What is surprising is the number of ‘strangers’ who randomly approach me and introduce themselves saying ‘I read your blog’ or ‘are you the Maffi that Bones writes about in her column’ this usually precedes a pint being placed on the table in front of me. I find this flattering not because they read the blog, though that’s why I write it, but because they have taken the time to say hello and I know they have taken the time to find out which of the odd ball characters in Thrupp is me.

I appreciate every one of them and love this ‘celebrity’ or should that be notoriety that goes with being one of the longest serving boat bloggers in bloggerdom.

Last winter I wanted to give up. I have, after all, been doing it a long time. Often comments are hurtful although it does depend on my mental state how it affects me. It was certain comments on the blog that made me wonder ‘why do I fecking bother’, which of course led me to saying I was going to stop last winter. If you have been a long term reader you will know this has happened before. I am very fortunate my mental events are short lived and it only takes a phone call from Stoke on Trent or maybe Bones to remind me I miss writing the blog so hard luck I am still at it.

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Cake trolls

It was a simple post to highlight a problem which got misinterpreted.and generated 130 replies most of which were from bullies about cake. Yes the cake trolls even made an unwanted appearance. (Cake trolls are people who cannot see that they are bullies.)

What I said was

If you refuse to punctuate your writing properly or use capitals in their correct place, then please do not be surprised if I misinterpret you.

Now unless someone has a problem with language, dyslexia, learning difficulties etc then I don’t see why I  or anyone should have to correct every thing we see before we read it. The whole point of having a common language is to make communication easy. To just slap any old crap down then blame predictive text is simply bad manners. Then to say it doesn’t matter anyway shows no respect for the reader by the writer and one has to wonder why they bothered in the first place. It’s amazing that some people can’t differentiate their/there/they’re know all the -ists and -isms on the planet.

I fully understand that some people have trouble writing, so why do they come to a written forum? Well they have an opinion of course, but then so do I. Why is their opinion more acceptable than mine?

When reading the New Statesman last week (James Clark’s column) I noticed the classic their/there error. No, correction, I didn’t notice it, it jumped up off the page and screamed, “Look at me! I know you can see me!“ Where the hell was the editor/spell checker/grammar checker. Who allowed this so blindingly obvious error? In your reality of course, it doesn’t matter, in my reality it matters a great deal. It was wrong and from such an esteemed publication as well. (Here I will pause for the trolls to poo poo my choice of reading materials).

I am never always right. I do make a great effort to be as correct as I can, but I am unfortunately cursed with seeing the mistakes of others. Not just seeing them, but being in pain because of them. I don’t remember the last time I read a book and didn’t find glaring mistakes.

I didn’t ask for this ‘superpower’ to be laid upon me. Some would call it Pedantry, well if Pedantry is a mental condition then I am in deed a pedant. I wonder how many really understand what I just said in that last sentence?

I can no more not comment about mistakes I see than I can stop taking breath. The world is not filled with candy-floss and sweet smelling flowers and every one is not a cuddle bug. Were it so the world would be the most fucking boring place to be. If you think we should all be nice to each other then I will be nice to you, but you in return must be nice to me and that includes accepting my ‘condition’ and not rolling out the cake recipes to bully me.

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Tidying up


Andy and Helen Tidy of on the way to somewhere else.  Unfortunately I missed nb Chance, with James and Doug, when they left

Sunday, 10 August 2014


This is just some of the rubbish I have collected on my travels around the cut. Scroll down.







My boat usually looks like a skip with piles of crap kept on top until I get to a disposal point. This is how I arrived in Leicester last year with piles of rubbish on the roof.


King Lock

This year I have a new weapon in my arsenal.


I will, of course, still be collecting other peoples detritus, but my boat the MILLY M will be looking more like I care for her. I shall tow it behind and stack bags of litter and other rubbish on the dingy until I can empty it into a skip somewhere. I have given some serious TLC to my boat , painting, polishing etc this summer it will be good to keep her looking nice.



Saturday, 2 August 2014


….no not the Shadows hit of the 60s, but the pseudo FBI! I received an email today purporting to be from the FBI. Ha! It began……


This e-mail, including any attachments, is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 10 U.S.C. 2510-2521

What a load of old tosh! Apart from the fact that the FBI never email me so this must be a scam, how are they going to know if i print it off and what jurisdiction do they have over here?

Scammers really have to do some better research! They may be stupid enough to fall for this crap but they shouldn't assume we all are.